“Moms. Bonus Moms. Creators. Queens
Don’t forget to breathe. Laugh, and smile often. You are a work in progress and learning while IN the process is a win. I see you. I am you.”

— Cathleen Benjamin

TRUTH MOMENT: I don’t have many pictures with me and baby Journee I can barely find any with her as a baby baby. And she was the cutest little creation. One of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.

POWER UP MOMENT: Moms. Bonus Moms. Creators. Queens
Don’t forget to breathe. Laugh, and smile often. You are a work in progress and learning while IN the process is a #win. I see you. I am you.

I’m sure we’ve all come a long way from who we were before we as mothers have taken on this title.

I’m sure we’ve all done a lot of healing from the day you found out you were going to have a miniature version of you, that time between labor and delivery, between kissing boo-boos and celebrating their birthdays at least we hope there has been some healing.

I’m also sure many of us are still healing even after so many birthdays have passed.

I remember when I first found out that I was with child with Journee (pronounced Journey) I was scared. My big sister was out of town. I remember calling her and not knowing how to put the words together. I certainly felt alone because not one of my peers were yet mothers. I had just gotten my bachelors degree and had no clue where life was taking me but I was unemployed and in my 20s still wanting to party and for all I knew my life would be over but this little crazy baby girl would be bringing new life to me and my entire family. Although there was still some residue left over so I had to get over my stuff real fast.

But somehow I found myself just constantly working on me. Falling short...falling off. Just falling many times. But the come back story is incredible and gets better every day and every year. Because I had Journee I learned so many lessons. It’s so funny that I named her Journee it was really because her father and I had pasts that nearly took of out and we thought we’d never come out of the fire until we found each other...again and then created her.

When I had Journee it was just her and I a lot. I took her everywhere with me. Kurt and I didn’t live together right away. With her I learned how to be present for her of course more than myself. As I've watched her grow into who she is, I've noticed that everything I’ve wanted to do or took an interest in even things I was too afraid to do she does and she excels at effortlessly. 

She’s been one of my greatest teachers in this life and of course in the world of parenting.

She’s strong and soft spoken and fearless and so dang gorgeous and she’s my baby girl. I remind her she can lean on me and doesn’t have to be strong all the time, a trait that she took on from me a trait that I’m learning that strength comes from vulnerability. Being too strong hurts more people in the grand scheme of things.  

Before I had Journee I always wanted to be sure before trying. Which could’ve prevented me fro becoming a mother because I didn’t know what I had to offer her, or if I could care for her as her mother. Thank God I was sure enough in the possibility of love after so much hurt. Thank God

Moms I hope you believe in magic. I sure do.  All women should. I mostly believe in you. 

Journee & Mommy circa 2005

Did you know that it hurts us more in the long run to hold onto things that no longer serve you? Whether it be a job path and ignoring that calling or staying in a relationship, situation-ship (not judging).

While going through the motions we may not see the greater good of letting go. Because we think this situation is what validates us or we’ll be missing out in some way should be let go. Or or afraid of what the future holds for you if your comfort level was rocked a bit.  If your comfort although painful and draining would no longer be there.  Some times the things, people or situations that hurt us the most we seek out because pain is all we know.  It is familiar, so the hurt off holding on is subdued. For there must be an explanation for it right? Wrong you don't have to keep on asking WHY, or WHY ME and stay because its comfortable or because this is what you've always known.  

There is always life after you let go. More often than not there is MORE LIFE when you let go of the things, people or circumstances that no longer fuel you positively or help you heal or grow. More opportunities, more freedom more room for clarity and finding what sets your soul on fire that's what you're letting go for.

Some of us are fighting to hold onto things or situations where if we’d just let go or loosen the grip even we’d see that this is something that has not been holding us down in but holding us under.

Let go sis. 

Once you choose, there is a domino effect, a pull or attraction that begins to happen from that choice or set of choices made.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself how much happiness do I think I deserve? What can I do to get there? You can pick up habits like second hand smoke only it isn’t second hand smoke we think it is because of we may think we picked up these habits and are products of our environment. We’ve been bred to believe this which is equally as cancerous like negativity, sadness, thoughts of lack. We think, “this is my life so I’ll live it the way it is". I’ll complain, make excuses, make my excuses my story because they are really good at validating why I am negative, complain and feel stuck.

I gave myself permission to seek positivity, to seek change. I craved being a happier and an overall healthier person so I decided to spend more time with people who reflected that. I know that energy flows where energy goes and I was determined!

I’m in Indianapolis with someone who is my closest friend and also my life partner. He just got a new job a month ago after being given the option of being demoted after over 10yrs of service, while we already planned, prayed for and decided I would leave my corporate position and go full time with my passion of helping people live life full out. This is us canceling fear. While we were in Mexico reaping some fruits of our hard work he was waiting on a call about this new position he got the call not for what he wanted but my husband is a man of God so he trusted (not settled) TRUSTED.

I probably shouldn’t be here. Things have been tight we are selling our condo...again after our first buyers back out of the sale, we have 4 children collectively with 1 in college and another going into her senior year.

I probably shouldn’t be here! I probably shouldn’t be empowered. I probably shouldn’t be smiling and still feeling amazing. I probably shouldn’t have the energy I do to check in with my Fit Fam to extend a hand and recognize the people who are living healthier fulfilling lives. We made a promise that we’d both ride in the passenger seat and be guided and trust the process.

I share this because many people think you can ONLY be happy when everything is going great. We’re happy because everything has already been written. The path to get there may not always seem like rays of sunshine but that’s okay because we need the rain to continue blooming.
 

"I gave myself permission to seek positivity, to seek change. I craved being a happier and an overall healthier person so I decided to spend more time with people who reflected that."

If you’re anything like me Lovers you’ve FOUGHT, SACRIFICED, PRAYED, FASTED, CRIED, nearly lost it all to become who you are...yet still becoming. 

Recently I was reminded that there are people who will want to see to it that you are not happier than them.
They will have it no other way in their minds for you to be the same person they remember over a decade ago, simply because they are the same person. 
Can I just be very frank!  That is not your business.
If you’re anything like me Lovers you’ve FOUGHT, SACRIFICED, PRAYED, FASTED, CRIED, nearly lost it all to become who you are...yet still becoming.  You like myself, probably almost gave up along the way. What good would it do for you to be placed in a box you no longer fit in and was never really designed for a BEAST or a QUEEN like you?
That’s not to say you are better or they are worse off it just means you have sought growth.  You turned your breakdown into a breakthrough!!!  You deserve everything you have and more.  And that’s not even to say you have all you are destined for.  Cause you’re still being broken and molded.  You have welcomed and opened up to the possibility.  You have not and WILL NOT succumb to life’s setbacks and will continue to LIVE.
Send up a prayer, after you have a good chuckle of the things you thought you wanted and God said no to and planted you right where you needed to be.
Send up a prayer for waking up and being mindful that who you are and who you are destined to be are the same being but just evolving. 
Thank You God for growth.
Give thanks to the divine for becoming.
All praises to happiness + joy + love + abundance and living light.
Grateful for peace of mind.
YES YES to good energy, positive vibes and staying aligned with my purpose.

I was reminded who I am. I love who I am and who I am becoming together we are a force.