Monday check in! 

Heart center ✔️. 

Mindset ✔️. 

Scanning everything from your crown to the tips of your toes. 

We will get through this.  I think for the first time many of us are feeling the same thing. 

Uncertainty.  Bringing up a lot of what ifs. Bringing up a lot of questions, concern, fear, time and also clarity. 

A shift is happening. 

When we come out on the other side of this we have a choice to make.  We can all be healthier, focused, READY, more determined, more compassionate than ever. 

The most eager we’ve ever been to experience new heights and live a full unapologetic life. Free of judgment, fear. Adaptable to change. Having a new depth of gratitude and understanding was the vision all along.  Many of us were already on the same wave length when we said 2020 would be the year of clarity. 

Perfect vision.  Right?!  

And since things seem very blurry for many of us right now. Maybe that’s how we’ll truly see and SHIFT our focus to what truly matters. 

Many of us probably wouldn’t have shifted  or made necessary changes if we had not been forced to. So here it is. We’ve been presented an opportunity, more idle time, to stop and switch some things up in order to see more clearly. In order to come out of this better, agile and more flexible than ever before. 

What better version of yourself are you looking forward to becoming? How are you positioning yourself to use this time to recreate, to shift, to focus, to rest and be restored when this is all over, cause a new beginning once we come out of this will be required of many of us.  

If we come out of this exactly the same we’ve missed the mark. 

#EmpoweredbyCathy #afitsoulrevolution

Honestly I thought the first video I’d post of my daughter Journee would be one of immaculate lighting so you can see how intricately laid her edges are and how gorgeous her light and spirit is but I just catch these moments whenever they happen. Unrehearsed most times I’m in another room and hear her and see she’s with her baby sister. Or her baby as she calls her.  

All I can do is thank God. That’s all I can do. I was attempting to clean up the house. Folding laundry (still not done) Answering business emails. Been in my workout clothes hoped to get a workout in..hasn’t happened yet. Repotting my plants (cause that brings me joy even though I don’t know what I’m doing) and Aria☀️ was having a fit just crying. Journee literally walked through the door, changed her clothes (cause we don’t do the outside clothes business in this house 😂)  and picks her up and just sings her to soothe and calm her.  I was wiping down the counters and grabbed my phone to capture this. It was too good.  Blessed beyond belief. Blessed beyond these mom tears. 

Having a teenager is TOUGH. Being a mom period isn’t easy.  I want her to be her FULL self as a black Goddess in this sometimes cruel world.  To give her space to be herself and to speak up and often because again this world may only always want to hear what she has to say. Sometimes as a mom/ bonus mom I feel like I can never get it right. I chose to work from home almost two years ago cause I wanted to be more PRESENT.  I wanted to do a new thing as God was (is) working a new thing in me daily.  Not that I wasn’t present working in corporate America but those stresses were messing with my mental health. I wanted to be able to be accessible at a drop of a dime. Make every game, practice, awards dinner, midday event be home at a decent time and before we did it all over again the next day all the things I missed or had to go through hoops just to get time off to be there for my kids. Feeling like I had to choose.  

It was a hard decision to go from two solid incomes to 1 and new entrepreneur sometimes winging it, sometimes winning, sometimes over it!  I had to believe in myself and my reason why. You’re looking at two of my reasons before you!  

Sometimes people just don’t want to believe in themselves. They’re okay with not being ok because they’re so use to it or it’s all they know. It’s what they saw their momma do or the father or aunties and I didn’t want that for my kids or myself.  I want my kids to know working hard looks different for everyone. To make hard choices and take risks to never live a life with regrets. 

Everyday I wake up and thank God for a new day, ask for clarity, strength, courage and willingness to show up. To be a beckon of light. To be a word, confirmation, inspiration, motivation. 

An example not to settle, not to give up, to be a reflection of what by faith looks like. 

“The sacredness and realization that “there is a breathe of life within my womb”. I wish I could’ve just skipped to this feeling. But it’s so much more powerful that I got through the stages.”

— Cathleen Benjamin

To my mommas maybe this may resonate with you. 

When I found out I was pregnant with Baby Moon 🌙 I went through stages what I call the 3 S’s. I went from being scared, to secretly knowing I had a blessing inside me, to understanding my blessing and holding it extremely sacred.  

S:1

If you’ve been following me I had a scare back in September. I had an unusual pain in my abdomen area. Had an event that morning and throughout the event kept noticing the pain get stronger and stronger. At one moment my husband looked my way and I put my head down cause I wanted him to continue his workout but next thing I knew he said let’s go we’re going to the ER. Something on my face must’ve gave it away. At this point I could barely walk to the car. Thought maybe it was something with my uterus. I knew eventually I wanted more children but something in me said this is it not going to happen. I thought all the worst thoughts and just kept crying on the way to the hospital in excruciating pain. That silent cry with tears just flowing. That day I never shared this with anyone except Kurt but spirit was w/ me. A healing mantra come to me and I silently repeated it with tears in my eyes. I felt an image in a white robe following me to the X-ray room as they wheeled me away from Kurt. They said it was kidney stones. To this day I never passed the stone. 

End of January I found out I was pregnant. I was like no way! There is no way. Immediately started freaking out frozen in fear. Like are we ready? We have so many “plans”. We just sold our condo and just moved. Physically I was immobilized. I had no motivation. Completely stopped doing anything business wise, no posts, no checkins w/ my team, friends. Everything stopped. Went in complete panic mode when no one was around. I stayed in bed for hrs crying, overthinking. I felt like I was walking on eggs shells in the beginning. The anxiety about carrying to term, about being ready (than) or again or oh shoot I prayed for this months ago, now I have this what do I do now set it and didn’t allow me to fully embody and enjoy the moment. The revelation that once again I’ve been blessed. I had my pastor pray for and over me because I was losing it. He said all the right things and that has kept me carried me through all the scary what if thoughts.  I had a talk with myself to snap the heck out of it. Than it took me back to that time in September and said God Im surrendering all my fears. Thank you 🙏🏾 

S:2 

Culturally being of Haitian descent you don’t share before the 2nd trimester. Which is technically the “safe zone” I waited until about 13/14wks because I wanted to enjoy this and hold it now that I was finding my groove again. My fears subsided. I was excited. I wanted to just hold this for me Kurt our kids and family. My favorite reaction was wow. As I was (am) wowed daily by the wonders, the grace, the miracle of carrying Baby Moon 🌙 wondering what is to come and til this day just wowed by how blessed we are because this was actually a manifestation. 

S:3 

The third “S” is magical. The sacredness and realization that “there is a breathe of life within my womb”. I wish I could’ve just skipped to this feeling. But it’s so much more powerful that I got through the stages. I have been put on an assignment to eat, drink, sleep take care of myself, my mind, my body prayerfully carrying to term another beautiful creation of God. In all its miraculousness, in all the great wonders of the world I have been granted the beautiful duty to add more light into this world.  I couldn’t be more happy, broke wide open yet guarded at the same time. What gift and assignment could be greater, more challenging, more rewarding than this. Jesus I can’t wait to hold Baby Moon 🌙

#EmpoweredbyCathy

📸: Kurt Benjamin

Not the best lighting for this B girl buttt I still love what hubby has on lol.

So many people ask us how we first met. People always want to know our story. Long story long... lol we went to grade school together. I’ve loved Kurt since I was a little younger than our first child together. I was 12-13 and I had a school girl crush on him. We shortly became bf/gf after that.

About 2 yrs later he would move to FL and we’d completely lose touch.

I remember sending him letters while he was in FL and I never got a letter back. SO we did what anyone would do, we both moved on with our lives.

I had heard around town that he was back but I hadn’t seen him and I didn’t ask about him. I wondered for a short while but never entertained the subject. We were finished. That was the past. I have to admit I was over the fact that he never tried to reach out to me. And besides we were both different ppl by than and had moved on.

Fast forward to 8 long years later, a marriage, two children, a separation I heard once after relocating once again he was back in town. A cousin of mine, said hey Kurts back in town…I immediately responded what that have to do with me? She said I’m going to give him a call maybe we can grab a bite to eat…I entertained it and said whatever why not. She called. He answered lol I hear her say as I’m walking around the house I have a surprise for you someone you might recognize and my eyes bug out and I’m like I don’t want to talk to him…hands phone over and I kid you not from hello he has me cracking up. Nonstop laughing. I wasn’t ready for all that I had a long day dealing with a my past and you sometimes when you don’t even want to laugh, like let me be upset and in my emotions. Nope. We did some catching up, me mostly laughing. That night the three of us went out to eat. I literally made my mind up that evening I had to be done with an abusive and mentally draining relationship. I cant remember laughing this much in so long.

No one knew how chaotic my relationship was until that day while at dinner. I remember being totally mortified that on the first day since we’ve seen each other in years here I am nestled in drama. But something struck me when towards the end of our dinner he said I hope you’re not going back with dude. I literally wanted to slide out the booth and disappear I don’t even remember what my response was but I remember what his following words were, “if ever you need something to take your mind off that... call me, no attachments, just as a friend”. We can go out to eat, whatever or we could just talk…just not that. While this gesture was beautiful, in my mind I thought I’d never call Kurt again, esp not for dinner or to hang out alone. I was not looking for a relationship, he had two small children that he was sole caretaker for. I thought I don’t even trust this guy... in front of me was the first guy who broke my heart and left me so many years ago.

Fastforward to our first official date :p I remember him bringing up stories about his life while living in FL, stating that no one contacted him, he felt abandoned...I learned that he went against his will. Found out mid school yr that his family had made the decision to move to FL but to send him first. I let him go on and at that point I said wait I wrote you...he looked puzzled and responded I would’ve remembered you writing me. I stated I wrote you several times and never got a response and I sent one last letter saying I was moving on and that I’d wait if he wrote back.
He never got my letters. For years I wondered why he never wrote me back.

It’s no telling that when something is for you whether it’s a love, a job, a home, a goal, a dream if it is meant for you it will always be yours....

No matter time, distance, other relationships or situations ect it does not matter.

A few months ago while at a Master Mind Seminar together hundreds of us did an exercise... the room was separated into two groups my group had their eyes closed, Kurt’s group had to walk around the room and tell someone something you’ve always needed to hear or something you know someone needs to hear.

I nearly fell out when I heard someone whisper “I never forgot about you” eyes still closed tears started rolling. I never realized how much I or my younger self needed to hear those words.

So thank you for always saying the things I need to hear even when I don’t realize how much I need it. How much it will change the direction of my life.

Thank you for being just a stand up guy. A God fearing man. A man who works hard, and is cool AF and can be entirely who you are wherever you are in any given circumstance.

Thank you for growing with me through this journey and loving and honoring me in each stage of our journey together.

So happy I get to do life with you.