“I’m not afraid to say. I ALMOST talked myself out of it. But I suddenly realized that was a lie...a test rather. It was a voice that was so foreign to the person I am becoming that I shut it down with the quickness and proceeded. 

You see fear CAN still catapult the leap of faith.”

Earlier today I was asked how did I find the courage? Actually I’ve been asked this a number of times since my decision was made a reality in March to became my own boss and coach and mentor women on their wellness journey. To leave Corporate America then teach clients who work in executive/corporate positions how to find that work life balance.

What people don’t know is that for almost 8yrs I too couldn’t find that courage. 

I STRUGGLED with the idea of letting go.

Cried nearly every time I dropped off my kids to school because yet again I was leaving my dreams behind in a journal and having a notebook full of ideas, goals, affirmations and request books and not truly working towards them.

Faith without works is dead. In James 2:22 it says “You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.”

I was wishing and hoping on a miracle and not really working in alignment with my faith and towards my assignment or life’s work. I had to put my faith to the test. I HAD to. But it was not easy. 

I’m not afraid to say it’s still not easy some days I have not come to grips with my decision because I rely on..well me for a paycheck. While there is a beautiful FREEDOM to it I’m put to the test every single day. Growth and rejection is painful and sometimes the people who need your help most reject you and you have to learn to let them hit rock bottom no matter how much you want to help them avoid that.

Luckily each day I find a word to keep me encouraged and my Fit Fam and my mentors and circle of sisters some of which I’ve gained while on this journey. Blessed as I am I keep people in my circle who are constantly challenging me and who I can bounce ideas off of but still I have to do the work.

I’m not afraid to say. I ALMOST talked myself out of it. But I suddenly realized that was a lie...a test rather. It was a voice that was so foreign to the person I am becoming that I shut it down with the quickness and proceeded. 

You see fear CAN still catapult the leap of faith.

While for so many years like myself it held onto my dreams I realized I was not that person anymore and that while the mind chatter crept up it had no strength over me and my faith in God and my faith in ME.

This is not even about being scared of quitting a job or about leaving a position or situation it is a story about starting over and how stifling that can feel.

I put every excuse in front of each dreams and goal like chess. There was always a great excuse or reason why this time wasn’t the right time. To think of it when I finally made the decision I could think of over a handful of times when there was a better time. Funny how that works.

But it was time. When it’s time you know. You ALREADY know.

On my last day of that chapter, I had so many talks with people who either asked the question when did you know OR I too had a dream to go into ______ add your dream here.

We all have dreams. We all have deterrents. We all have pros and cons and hurdles and obstacles but how long can we fight our true assignments or sit wondering what our calling or passions are if you don’t just take the chance.

This is MY story, what’s yours? Do you have a decision that you’ve been struggling with? What’s stopping you? What’s holding you back? What have you already overcome? When did you come to the realization that there has to be more than just....?

Ever find yourself sitting in a crowd and begin to be unsure, compare yourself whether it’s beauty, body image or success of others. Yeah me neither, ok not true I definitely use to though. I use to struggle with myself and wonder if I belonged. But it’s a blessing to be able to stand in your power and your truth. To know who you are, welcome who you’re becoming and love yourself within the process.

The women looking out into tomorrow has now unleashed its worrier spirit. Not because I no longer have fear. Not because I have everything I need. Not because everything is the way I assumed it would be and not because I haven’t given up A LOT. But because I am now more present as ever. I know that everything I have I’ve earned. The things are still promised are still mine. Because being connected to divine and leaning in has allowed me to tap into my highest self and to attract and learn from others tapping into their highest self as well.

"The message that is being relayed to our children and family. We matter. As coaches we remind people that everyone matters. Everyone counts."

I have chosen to constantly and continuously vibrate higher. Not only on the days I choose to but on the days in which I doubt the unknown.
On the days I have to reread the word because I needed to hear my voice say it one more time. On the days I need clarity.
On the days I need the reminder to give the things that I love time to work! I love me so I’m giving me time. 

This coaching opportunity has given me time to level up. Its given my kids their mom back. Sometimes I feel like I can’t say back but given my kids the mom that I always knew I could be, a better mom than what I was, the mom I’ve always wanted to be. Because I’ve been allowed myself room to grow I give them room to grow, to think, to evolve.

Ask anyone who has completed a goal, overcome a self restricting battle i.e. fear of success. Overcoming it builds inner strength. It builds perseverance. It builds endurance to go onward. It builds you into the human you need to be. That doesn’t mean you don’t struggle. That doesn’t mean you don’t ever feel like giving up. It doesn’t mean that we don’t ever slip up or fail along the way. 

We don’t think about right now but the goodness that is ahead. The better health, the positive (or negative) report from the doctors office. The lowered cholesterol, the regulated blood pressure. The repaired relationship. Or letting go of the destructive ones that no longer serve the person you are transforming into.  The inner healing and outward strength. The new lease on living a life you can be proud of. The new eyes of empowerment and total positivity. The message that is being relayed to our children and family. We matter. As coaches we remind people that everyone matters. Everyone counts.

This journey has totally taught me to rely on hope and faith. Whether in ourselves or in the divine. It calls you to fall more deeply in self care in growing or in heightening our goals. To elevate and other others to do so as well. To walk in the room and no longer compare but to extend your hand to help, to share and invite others to tap into the possibility of vibrating higher.