Posts tagged Cathleen Benjamin
Because Postpartum is Forever
I’m here to challenge processes by doing the work. Leaning into my spiritual beliefs, my culture, ready to share some beautiful traditions for the first 40 days and beyond. Because postpartum is forever.
— Cathleen Benjamin
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Oct 2020 I declared that in 2021 I would become a doula. In January, I registered for a scholarship, which I ended up not getting. Then I saw a chance to win another scholarship for a virtual doula training which I really wanted to take and a cohort I thought I really wanted to be a part of. Again I didn’t get the scholarship. I thanked God for giving the scholarships to those who really needed them.  Perhaps they were more “ready” for this work than I.

End of February, another opportunity came up to register for yet another scholarship with another cohort. This time I heard back and the email read congratulations!! I would start 12 weeks of training only a few days later for a full-spectrum doula training. After completing the training in early June I registered and received another scholarship but this time for level 2 an Intensive Postpartum Doula Training. I’m so dang happy and excited about this. 

I told my husband he can now refer to me as a scholarship baddie. 😂 

In Sept 2020, I said to a friend that I was considering becoming an IBCLC providing lactation support. But after that day the doula idea weighed heavily on me.  It kept ringing in my ear. “You should do this.” I resisted it at first. I didn’t understand why I would be called to do this. But then I remembered why not? Why not Be what you needed or wish you had for someone else?

“So I fasted and called on my ancestors.”

“So I fasted and called on my ancestors.”

So I fasted and I called on my ancestors.

FWD to 2019 I became fascinated with birth. I would watch births all day long. In total awe. Some made me shout and give God immediate praise. Others made me cry. 

I found myself watching them over and over. Holding my breath. Feeling all the feels while carrying Baby Moon 🌙 completely fascinated by it. I credited it to be pregnant. But this was not something I was able to do in the past or ever.

The first time I almost assisted birth was in 2006 with my godson. I walked in just to greet my cousin but I was asked to stay. Before I knew it I was holding the mother of his child’s legs apart and telling her to push. I didn’t get to see the entire birth as I only stopped in to say hello so btw contractions I made my way out to let other families go in to greet the soon-to-be parents.

With all my births I felt like I was alone. No one who looked like me, in my corner to advocate for me, who I could talk to about my fears, my excitement, my regrets without judgment. 

No one to help equip me with the knowledge that would make me feel empowered to give birth wherever I decided to give birth whether in a hospital, at home, or birthing center. I turned to mom groups but some of the things were toxic, very judgy, mean even and packed with stories of trauma so I chose to disengage for my own mental health.

When I had my first child I had a bout with postpartum depression and just went through the motions. I learned about how serious it could get watching The Oprah Winfrey Show back in 2005. 

With Baby Moon 🌙  at almost 25 wks, I changed my OBGYN. It was very clear that I wanted a black doctor because even if you lived under a rock you by now read a story about the soaring rates of black maternity mortality rates and those ideas began to surface for me. The explicit and implicit biases when treating black women. So I did what I knew I had to do. Also, I desired to have more options that the hospital would not give me. So we thought about home births, we settled on a beautiful birthing facility over 45mins out of town to get the birth we desired. Hubby wanted a lotus birth. I wanted a water birth. Dreamed of it we got all the things but at 36weeks 5 days found out Baby Moon 🌙 was breech transverse and that our plans may be derailed. 

This time I felt safe and cared for and felt like they listened to me and my concerns. Even when I scheduled my c-section there was so much compassion on the other end of the line when the office manager called me to schedule my cesarean birth. 

Before the office manager, my Dr called while on vacation with her family, on a Saturday morning and her voice was so soothing I broke down. I sobbed so hard and loud and she just listened when I got quiet she affirmed me and spoke life over me. I don’t know that many have stories that play out like this. 

I want to make my future clients feel SEEN, understood, supported, and empowered.

This is the most beautiful and most sacred work that I am walking ever so empowered into. 

Now also a full spectrum doula in training I will be specializing in the sacredness and forgotten part of birth which is postpartum healing. I’m here to be part of the change I wish to see. 

I’m here to challenge processes by doing the work. Interpersonal work. Leaning into my spiritual beliefs, my culture, and ready to share some beautiful traditions for the first 40 days and beyond. Because postpartum is forever.

Leaning on my ancestors HEAVILY for this world I’m entering.

My healing, transformative journey has unleashed a wellness warrior and advocate and I’m here to help empower support love on some birthing families. 

Allow me to continuously re-introduce myself as your wellness advocate, holistic wellness accountability coach, and now full spectrum doula (in training). 

ONWARD!!! Let’s Grow

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Some feelings we sometimes don't share as expectant mothers
The sacredness and realization that “there is a breathe of life within my womb”. I wish I could’ve just skipped to this feeling. But it’s so much more powerful that I got through the stages.
— Cathleen Benjamin
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To my mommas maybe this may resonate with you. 

When I found out I was pregnant with Baby Moon 🌙 I went through stages what I call the 3 S’s. I went from being scared, to secretly knowing I had a blessing inside me, to understanding my blessing and holding it extremely sacred.  


S:1

If you’ve been following me I had a scare back in September. I had an unusual pain in my abdomen area. Had an event that morning and throughout the event kept noticing the pain get stronger and stronger. At one moment my husband looked my way and I put my head down cause I wanted him to continue his workout but next thing I knew he said let’s go we’re going to the ER. Something on my face must’ve gave it away. At this point I could barely walk to the car. Thought maybe it was something with my uterus. I knew eventually I wanted more children but something in me said this is it not going to happen. I thought all the worst thoughts and just kept crying on the way to the hospital in excruciating pain. That silent cry with tears just flowing. That day I never shared this with anyone except Kurt but spirit was w/ me. A healing mantra come to me and I silently repeated it with tears in my eyes. I felt an image in a white robe following me to the X-ray room as they wheeled me away from Kurt. They said it was kidney stones. To this day I never passed the stone. 

End of January I found out I was pregnant. I was like no way! There is no way. Immediately started freaking out frozen in fear. Like are we ready? We have so many “plans”. We just sold our condo and just moved. Physically I was immobilized. I had no motivation. Completely stopped doing anything business wise, no posts, no checkins w/ my team, friends. Everything stopped. Went in complete panic mode when no one was around. I stayed in bed for hrs crying, overthinking. I felt like I was walking on eggs shells in the beginning. The anxiety about carrying to term, about being ready (than) or again or oh shoot I prayed for this months ago, now I have this what do I do now set it and didn’t allow me to fully embody and enjoy the moment. The revelation that once again I’ve been blessed. I had my pastor pray for and over me because I was losing it. He said all the right things and that has kept me carried me through all the scary what if thoughts.  I had a talk with myself to snap the heck out of it. Than it took me back to that time in September and said God Im surrendering all my fears. Thank you 🙏🏾 

S:2 

Culturally being of Haitian descent you don’t share before the 2nd trimester. Which is technically the “safe zone” I waited until about 13/14wks because I wanted to enjoy this and hold it now that I was finding my groove again. My fears subsided. I was excited. I wanted to just hold this for me Kurt our kids and family. My favorite reaction was wow. As I was (am) wowed daily by the wonders, the grace, the miracle of carrying Baby Moon 🌙 wondering what is to come and til this day just wowed by how blessed we are because this was actually a manifestation. 

S:3 

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The third “S” is magical. The sacredness and realization that “there is a breathe of life within my womb”. I wish I could’ve just skipped to this feeling. But it’s so much more powerful that I got through the stages. I have been put on an assignment to eat, drink, sleep take care of myself, my mind, my body prayerfully carrying to term another beautiful creation of God. In all its miraculousness, in all the great wonders of the world I have been granted the beautiful duty to add more light into this world.  I couldn’t be more happy, broke wide open yet guarded at the same time. What gift and assignment could be greater, more challenging, more rewarding than this. Jesus I can’t wait to hold Baby Moon 🌙

#EmpoweredbyCathy

📸: Kurt Benjamin

Starting Over
Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.”
~Meister Eckhart

Good Morning Beautiful People!! Happy Tuesday <3

Ever feel like you’re trying to put pieces together and not necessarily to create the masterpiece of your life but just to find some type of rhythm, balance, happiness and of course incorporate a healthier lifestyle? I have to say today I started over on my nutrition and workout program because last week was just a really tough week for me with me being sick majority of the week and unable to work out this week I just feel like I could just bring in a whole new, rejuvenated me.

Cheers to anyone here choosing to start over! I’m right there with you sister!! I’m here to remind you that we’re just building stronger foundations when doing so. There is no shame in seeing that you need to change the course, make a BOLDER commitment (to YOU), and this time maybe ditch those inconsistencies, regret, grief that the past decisions bring.

Something I’ve been reminded of and it keeps coming up is that “you are entirely up to you.” Your results, meeting your goals, your attitude towards well everything is TOTALLY up to you. This switches gears a bit for me and my clients when I remind them your win is entirely up to you staying in the game!!! Can’t stay in the game if you prefer watching on the sidelines and cheering on everyone else’s victory!

So I invite YOU to join me today or whenever you’re hear reading this. If you feel like you need to start over with your health and wellness, your fitness journey join me. This invite is for ALL women of ALL walks of life, moms, expecting moms all are welcome let’s do this together because I know that there’s some other women out there who are struggling and who need that tribe and community of sisters to lock arms with and do this together! Let no (wo)man be left on an island join my virtual fit camp. If this resonates with you or sparks some curiosity Lets chat!!! If you’re ready lets get you Enrolled TODAY!!

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Plan A program: Start Date (ongoing)
🕓 25-35 Minute Pre&Post Natal Workouts
📈Beginner - Intermediate Simple yet effective and flexible meal plan perfect for yo-yo dieters, emotional eaters who want to release bad habits
🏋🏽‍♀️ Light - medium Weights 🎖Me as your Coach
👑MY Squad as your support 📍YOU CAN ONLY WIN📍

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Plan B program: Start Date (ongoing)
🕓 30 Minute Total Body Workouts
📈Beginner - Intermediate Flexible and simple meal guides (using portion control containers) teaching you how to eat towards your goals w/o starvation & deprivation
🏋🏽‍♀️ Light - medium Weights 🎖Me as your Coach
👑MY Squad as your support 📍YOU CAN ONLY WIN📍


Best way to reach your results is to start from where you are.

xo Cathy 💛

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